Can You Change Your Weight Without Hating Your Life?
So I thought for a while about how I would structure this rant and I ran through a lot of scenarios. Should I try to tackle everything I have to say in one big post? Should I break up each part into separate articles and videos? Should I compile every single thing I know into one big Nutrition ebook? However, at the end of the day the purpose of writing this is to supply people with knowledge on how they can begin to work towards achieving, and maintaining a healthy weight. So no sales pitch, and no lengthy scientific deep dives (although there will be some science). Just an overview of how I generally work on helping people achieve their desired weight without hating their lives in the process.
In order to understand the steps that I will lay out here, we need to understand the mechanisms that drive weight loss and the desired process that we want to undergo to drive a healthy (and not miserable) weight change. A last note is that most of the time when I refer to weight change going forward, I will be talking about the long term trend of weight change rather than the acute day to day due to the innumerable amount of factors that can cause fluctuations day to day.
Before we get into it though, let me use this time to cover my ass. My disclaimer is simple: don’t be an idiot. I am not a medical doctor or a registered dietitian, I am not telling you that this is the only way to lose weight, and I’m not trying to convince you of what to eat or how to eat. Hell, I’m not telling you to do anything. You and your doctor know your body, your medical conditions/history, allergies, preferences, etc. The steps I’ll be laying out are to serve as suggestions for those who are looking to improve body composition without hating their lives in the process to take or leave as they see fit. Proceed with rationality my friends.
So where were we, ah yes… Principles. To break it down as simply as possible, weight loss really boils down to an equation of energy. How much we consume (calories), how much we burn (caloric expenditure), and how much we store (fat). So in its simplest form, weight change boils down to whether you’re taking in more than you’re burning (caloric surplus), burning more than you’re taking in (caloric deficit), or balancing out the two (caloric maintenance). If you’re in a deficit, you will lose weight. If you’re in a surplus you will gain weight. If you’re equal your weight will remain the same. Yes, it’s really that simple.
Side note, there is a metric fuck ton of batshit crazy information out there so I feel the need to repeat myself. Long-term Weight change is literally just a matter of caloric balance. Deficit means weight goes down. Surplus means weight goes up.
Okay now at this point some of you are probably like, “well my cousin’s nephew's sister's friend did Keto and lost 20 pounds”, or, “the instagram guru I follow eats vegan and he’s got negative 6% body fat”. And while I hear you, the important thing to keep in mind is any diet, fad or otherwise, is a method of applying the basic mechanism I laid out. If you lose weight on keto, it’s not because you cut out carbs, it’s because cutting out carbs reduced your caloric intake. If being a vegan caused someone to lose weight, it’s because their vegan choices resulted in consuming less calories than they were burning.
So if we can agree that weight change is basically just a math problem, then why the hell do so many people struggle to lose weight? In my opinion it’s because while caloric balance, like math, is convergent, the real life problems we face are extremely divergent. In other words, the equation will remain the same, but life is a shit show with endless amounts of complexity and the means in which we address this equation are rarely straightforward, but instead influenced by emotions, social situations, our understanding, the availability of resources, our ability to cook, our schedules, energy, and so much more. So what the hell do we do?
From here I’ll begin laying out some of the steps I have people take to address their weight change, but it's important to remind you that while these steps are very much based on ease of implementation and the psychology of not hating your life, they are always based on the idea that we are trying to shift our equation in favor of whichever direction we want our weight to go. Now from here I am going to lay out my steps when working with people who wish to lose weight and retain muscle, simply because I feel that 90% of you folks reading this will be far more interested in that side of things than weight gain. However if you love this article or want to learn more about gaining muscle I’d be happy to put together a similar article for that side of things. Now to the good stuff.
The steps we’re going to cover are going to follow a format of addition, substitution, subtraction. In other words, rather than go down the traditional route of “I need to eat less” or “I’m not allowed to have _____ anymore because it’s too many calories” we want to first explore what we can add more of to help shift the balance. The reason for this order is that aside from dedicated bodybuilders, I’ve met very few people who successfully just cut out certain things or slash all their normal portions to the point of success. And even though I’ve seen this, I usually don’t see it work for very long. So my approach is usually not to eat less food, but just eat different food, and adopt some very healthy habits that will supplement your goals.
So with that being said, the first thing I usually have folks add in is movement. Yeah, that’s right, we don’t even start on food. I don’t care what your diet looks like at square one. What I want to know is what your activity levels throughout the day look like. A decent amount of people who struggle with their weight typically live more sedentary lives, and one of the easiest wins you can achieve is just simply being more active. And this doesn’t mean joining the gym and training 6 days a week, it literally means just increasing your average. If you average five thousand steps a day, try to push that to six thousand, then seven thousand, and so on. If you average one day at the gym a week, shoot for 2, then 3, until you find a routine that works for you. If you sit at your desk all day, look into a standing desk, or try to increase the amount of times you get up to take a walk, stretch, etc. There are a lot of ways to measure activity levels, the important thing is to gather some metrics, then try to increase the average.
A quick note about metrics. They’re the shit. For whatever reason there’s this wave of negativity that is surrounding the idea of tracking metrics like calories, macros, steps, weight lifted, distance ran. While I recognize most of the negativity is based on the tracking of calories and macros because of how misunderstanding or over-stressing these things can create a negative relationship with food, we need to acknowledge that what gets measured is what matters. If we have no idea how many steps we take a day, we have a hard time ensuring we are improving, and our morale can take a big hit due to the uncertainty. The same is true for calories and macronutrients. If we are determined to never track, we are determined to stay in the dark, and we reduce our power to make positive change. I’ll cover more about what to track and when to care, but the take home here is metrics are extremely powerful when used responsibly.
So step one we have movement. So now how do we know when to move on to our next step? There’s a lot of different potential answers here, but the guiding principle is going to be: when you’re ready. While I’m emphasizing this now, this concept will certainly apply to a lot of the steps we cover going forward. We can assess readiness in a lot of ways and it’s always going to be individualized. Essentially the goal before moving on is to solidify some habit, or routine that you’ll be able to carry into the next step, and is actually making some sort of change. So some questions to ask yourself to assess readiness are as follows:
Do I feel I’ve raised the average enough to matter?
Am I able to consistently achieve my new average?
Do I feel confident that I can take on another step or habit without this one dropping off?
Do I feel like I'd continue to benefit by progressing on my current goal?
In other words, how is the return on investment? If it’s beginning to diminish then it may be time to change.
If you feel like your increased activity levels are sufficient, have made some changes in your health or weight, are consistent, and you can move on without it all falling apart, then it’s time for step two.
Step two for the folks I work with is usually going to be protein intake. One of the, if not the most important variables in healthy eating and body composition, it’s often alarming how low some people's intake can be. Protein is a logical next step for a number of reasons. First of all, most people are not getting enough of it. Second of all, the majority of folks who are trying to lose weight are also engaging in some form of training or exercise, and having adequate protein will promote recovery. Another variable we need to consider is that when we aim to lose fat, we often want to maintain or gain muscle in the process. This is a particular area where people run into a lot of issues. Here’s the thing. The primary driver of muscle gain is a caloric surplus. While THE driver of weight loss is a caloric deficit. So if you’re looking to build 10 lbs of muscle, and drop 10 lbs of fat you need to consider two things. One is that it almost certainly won’t happen at the same time. And two you’d still be at the same exact weight you started. This is why bodybuilders and your neighborhood gym bros approach this in phases such as “bulking”, “cutting”, and “maintenance.”
So while putting on muscle while burning fat sounds splendid, a much more realistic approach is to maintain muscle while burning fat. What is one very effective strategy we can use to retain muscle while in a caloric deficit? Increase protein! In an ideal world we are shooting for 0.8-1.6 grams per pound of body weight as an effective means of minimizing muscle loss (minimizing being a key word here.)
Now when I implement this phase with people I work with, it’s usually met with a similar question, “If I increase protein, wouldn’t I be eating more, not less?” And while sometimes the answer is yes, we need to remember the goal is not to eat less, but to eat differently.
Let’s also take a minute to acknowledge that in this context “less” refers to food volume, not calorie content because we do in fact want to eat less calories in the grand scheme.
Another big upside to increasing protein is the potential benefits it has in regards to reducing cravings and overeating (google Protein Leverage Theory). It’s pretty well documented that protein increases satiety (feeling full). Protein Leverage Theory essentially hypothesizes that human beings will prioritize the consumption of protein and therefore our protein consumption will have a strong effect on feelings of hunger. Consuming less protein means higher appetite (higher risk of overeating) adequate levels of protein means less appetite (less risk of succumbing to overeating or cravings). While this is just one theory as to why adequate intake of protein helps mitigate feelings of hunger and cravings, it’s pretty widely accepted that it does in fact do just that.
So the typical strategy I implement with my clients who hope to lose weight is simple at this stage, give them the ideal goal of landing somewhere between 0.8-1.6 grams per pound of body weight. However we need to recognize that the primary goal is progress in any respect, so if they’re typically falling around 0.3-0.5g/lb, getting to 0.65g/lb is in fact a success.
Now to move on from this step we would simply undergo the same or a similar line of questioning as mentioned above, if we are making progress, and it’s of more value to proceed than to double down on protein, then we will move to our next step.
The next step for me typically is going to be addressing fiber. An important side note here is that there are times where I do not address this; those times are when there are medical conditions present that make over-consumption of fiber undesirable. As I mentioned earlier, proceed with rationality and always talk to your doctor before taking advice from the internet.
While not as talked about, fiber is a wonderful way to keep our mindset in the realm of addition while promoting fat loss. Fiber slows down digestion which is going to increase feelings of fullness. However most of the time when people hear this they run to the store to pick up a fiber supplement. While this is better than nothing, it’s more beneficial to consume fiber directly through your diet. For one, with the supplement you do not get a lot of the beneficial micronutrients that accompany foods like fruits and vegetables. But additionally there is research that insists the means of fiber intake play a large role in the physiological effect it has on your body. I reiterate I’m not a dietician, and since I don’t want to dive down the rabbit hole of cell walls and bioavailability, let’s just agree that a fiber supplement is better than nothing, and dietary fiber is better than a fiber supplement.
The dietary recommendations for fiber are usually between 20-38 grams per day based on gender. However I'd be willing to bet that most people fall well below this mark. If we can increase fiber intake to at or above recommended intake, according to the research, we can decrease our appetite pretty significantly. Now here’s the big nugget: choose high fiber foods based on fiber per 100 calories, not 100 grams. This is something I learned from Menno Henselmanns’ book The Science of Self-Control. He points out that most of the high fiber foods we find on the internet or at the store are being listed based on fiber per 100 grams, this means that while it could be high in fiber, it could also be high in calories or carry little additional nutritional value. Not ideal. However he points out that if you go by fiber per 100 calories there are a lot of foods (mainly fruits and vegetables) that offer high nutrient density, high fiber, and low calorie. This is a win-win-win for health and weight loss.
So while Fiber is not some miracle nutrient that causes weight loss, it can actually play a pretty substantial role in that process for a number of reasons, hence why I prioritize it early in the process. The first major feature that makes this a big ticket item for me is that it is something we can focus on adding with relative ease, not subtracting. The value of subtraction via addition can’t be understated. Restricting things like calories or particular foods takes a lot out of people and the goal here is not to burn fat by all means necessary as fast as possible, but to do so in a way that is extremely sustainable for people.
The next reason is based on the mechanism at play here, essentially our increased fiber intake is benefitting us by making us feel fuller faster, and for longer. This combats one of the areas that I time and time again see as a huge problem area for folks and that’s snacking or overeating each meal. Not to mention when we approach decreasing overall intake by just self control and will power, we often feel hungry and ancy for our next meal. The last reason I’ll list here is that the foods that tend to fall in the category of high fiber, low calorie, are also pretty nutrient dense and usually fruits or vegetables. Two food groups that most people can benefit from getting more of, but more so they tend to do a great job at filling us up in their own respect. Reason being that feelings of fullness have much more to do with food volume (think total mass in grams) than calorie content. So essentially 100 grams of peanut butter will be equally as filling as a 100 grams of raspberries, despite having wildly different calorie totals.
This is going to be a sneak preview into the substitution side of things, but here’s an example with something I found in my pantry. Let’s say someone tends to snack on graham crackers when they feel hungry mid day, and it takes about 24 crackers to fill them up. According to the nutrition information I’m seeing on this box, that’d be 3 servings coming out to about 390 calories, for 93 grams of food. Let’s compare that to the same amount of grams for grapes, which comes out to roughly between 62 and 63 calories, which for our purposes we can round up to 63 calories. So let’s think about this for a second, if we were to swap our graham crackers for grapes completely, we could fill ourselves up to the same degree with 327 less calories. But here’s the thing, graham crackers are dope and if they’re your go-to snack then it might not be as easy as just swapping them out. But the beauty here is if you know roughly how much it’s going to take to fill you up we can plan accordingly. By simply taking that 93 grams and making it half grapes, half graham crackers, we can still cut the calories down by 165.5 total calories. This may seem small, but if you’re snacking on crackers 5 times a week, you’re essentially saving 827.5 calories a week just by substituting 12 crackers.
This is a good time to take a second and talk briefly about hunger and feeling full. Something important that we need to note is that feelings of fullness and hunger from a biological perspective, and a psychological perspective are not always going to function the same way, but they will definitely have effects on each other. One example of this is that oftentimes boredom can be a driver of certain cravings, you’re not actually hungry but there’s nothing to do so you inevitably head for the pantry and see if there’s something good in there. Additionally we tend to eat more when distracted, hence why we can eat an entire bag of chips while watching TV. So it’d be irresponsible for me to insist that we can eliminate certain behaviors around food by simply increasing fiber or low calorie food volume.
However, even though there are psychological and biological factors that act independently, the thought here is the more we can swing things in our favor, the more we can reduce the likelihood that undesirable psychological factors will win out. Simply put, if you’re feeling more full when you start that bag of chips in front of the TV, there’s a greater likelihood you’ll stop before you finish the bag.
The next big rock I would touch on is hydration. Some people may be wondering why this was not an earlier intervention if hydration is so important, and that’s because I’ve found little consistency with how big of a factor it is in people’s health. In other words, I’ve found when starting out that a fair share of people actually do a pretty decent job getting enough water throughout the day, where most people I work with do not get enough protein or fiber in their diet. Full disclosure, I've worked with athletes such as hikers, and trail runners who are usually educated early on in the importance of staying hydrated which can certainly influence my order of operations.
Regardless, increasing your water intake is going to be a driver in weight loss for similar reasons listed above, it can help you feel fuller for 0 calories. There are a ton of other benefits that make water great, the main one being without it you’d literally die. But for our conversation we can simplify it to these things: It takes up volume in your stomach for 0 calories, it can reduce cravings via the same mechanism, and it can reduce sluggishness throughout the day to promote the movement we touched on earlier. Cool? Cool.
While you can certainly feel free to look for more things that you can add, It’s at this point that I typically begin to shift from addition to substitution. This is where some of the more sneaky methods come in, and the overall goal is usually based around finding goal friendly alternatives to things we consume often, without making them suck. Going from eating bacon for breakfast every morning to eating steamed broccoli will definitely move the dial but probably will feel more like a chore than anything. The most important thing to remember though, is that when making a substitution the only thing that matters is that it is more goal oriented than what you’re replacing, it doesn’t need to be the best possible option, just better. Additionally, substitution could be used not just to decrease overall calories, but to make eating less calories suck less. A classic example is getting some of your water throughout the day from sparkling water. For many who don’t drink a lot of water because they find it boring and tasteless, a simple switch like this can be a significant change.
Now I’m sure some of you are waiting for me to provide you with next steps in terms of what you should be replacing, and with what, but the reality is this is when the process becomes much more individualized. It doesn’t make sense trying to find replacements for alcoholic drinks if you hardly ever drink. So this process becomes about analyzing what it is you’re eating during a regular day/week, and identifying where you can add the most value by making substitutions.
When we aim to substitute things there are two approaches. We can tackle bigger rocks, or small easy wins. The difference is one creates larger changes faster, and one builds momentum. Which you seek to tackle first is really a matter of what will be both motivational and sustainable. It might make sense that we take care of big rocks first, but if the biggest rock is the pizza night you have every week as a way of spending quality time with your family, well then it might be too difficult to try and tackle right away. But if there are smaller areas that you can take on more easily, then you can build up your momentum and continue making progress until you’re ready to fry bigger fish.
There is no real right or wrong way to go about it as long as the end result is moving closer to a calorie allotment that’s going to result in healthy weight loss, or at the very least, switching to an alternative that has more nutritional value. Again this is always going to be individualized but for the sake of providing as much value as possible, here are some examples:
Switching a second or third alcoholic beverage at dinner for a sparkling water
Subbing out the side of fries with a side of fruit or vegetables (You still get to enjoy that burger though!)
Switch some of your breakfast bacon with chicken (still high in protein, much lower in calories)
Using a calorie free sweetener instead of cream or milk in your coffee
Buying zero calorie sodas instead of high calorie ones (diet coke instead of regular coke)
Now some of you might be a little uncomfortable at this point. You might be wondering why I just green lighted drinking diet coke, and only replacing one of your alcoholic beverages, or why I would suggest using a calorie free sweetener (aren’t those like, super bad for us?) No. The point is progressing towards your goal, not perfection. And if the goal is to decrease fat, then you need to reduce calories. All of these tips have the ability to do that.
Now that we’ve touched on addition and substitution, next we have subtraction. What I want to emphasize is that up until this point I have not suggested simply eating less, or eliminating things from your diet. Those are the things that lead us to unhealthy ideas around food and can make us miserable. Diets that shit on eating certain foods, macronutrients, or at particular times, are cultish and restrictive and usually motivate you with short term success that never lasts.
“But Kyle, my sister lost 20 pounds on Keto!”
That may be true, but they did not lose 20 pounds because of their Ketogenic diet. An important distinction. To reiterate my point from earlier, they lost 20 pounds because they were in a caloric deficit while following a Ketogenic diet. The folks who preach specific fad diets are typically purposely omitting one very important piece of the puzzle.
What they sell you: eat Keto → 20 lbs down
What they don’t mention: eat Keto → Caloric deficit → 20 lbs down
It’s easy to understand when you realize that cutting out an entire macronutrient will almost certainly leave you eating fewer calories. But shit who doesn’t love cake? And who would even want to develop a debilitating fear of pasta?
But I digress. Point is, subtraction should be our last stop because we want to do everything we can to make weight loss sustainable and not miserable. When we talk about subtraction I want you to think of it as an awareness that your goals are better accomplished with less or minimal of something. So when I say subtraction an example might be, using a smaller plate to decrease the total amount of pasta you’re eating at dinner, rather than, “you will no longer be enjoying pasta, it was a nice ride but say your goodbyes.” Another example could be measuring out how much of a high calorie sauce you usually put on a dish, then decreasing the amount.
Subtraction is a great tool for your non-negotiables. If you looooove pizza, then don’t stop eating it, but if you can add some veggie toppings (increased fullness with low calorie goodies), and eat one less slice or just order a smaller pizza, you’d be shocked at the calorie difference with minimal impact on your satisfaction and will power. If you always look forward to a nice cold beer, something as simple as finding alternatives with lower calories, lower alcohol content, or just smaller serving sizes can be a great way to decrease overall consumption without trying to cut it out all together. Keep in mind that subtraction too will be highly individualized.
So as I wrap this up, be mindful that there are a lot of dimensions to successful sustainable weight loss. Some things that were not touched on here are: stress, sleep hygiene, relationship with food, your specific goals, your day to day lifestyle, your experience with cooking and meal preparation, your family situation, your social life, your financial status, your living arrangements, your GENETICS, your taste/food preferences, your food allergies/sensitivities, your medical history, exercise habits, and the list goes on. Point being, this is not as simple as it sounds and success in the long term comes down to not giving up through the constant trial and error that is developing goal oriented eating habits.
Additionally, what I’ve laid out here is a framework that you can use to begin building more goal oriented habits. What the best approach for you is ultimately going to be specific to your situation and what your limiting factors are. Some of you may already get plenty of protein or fiber, but need way more movement. Others get almost no protein despite living very active lives. I’ve never met two people who needed the exact same approach or saw the exact same results in the same exact time frame. This takes time, but I hope what I offered here can allow you to begin experimenting with what will be best for you.
Now go do the damn thing.
A final note. As I mentioned the purpose here is to provide as much value as possible, so if you’ve stuck with me to the end here, I thank you, and offer one final nugget. This information is an accumulation of a lot of reading, experimenting, and getting hands-on experience with people really going through this. But here are some of the books/resources that I’ve found extremely valuable:
Books
The Renaissance Diet 2.0 by Dr. Mike Israetel, Dr. Melissa Davis, Dr. Jen Case, & Dr. James Hoffmann
The Science of Self-Control: 53 Tips to Stick to Your Diet, Be More Productive, and Excel in Life by Menno Henselmans
Apps
MyPlate
MyFitnessPal
RP Diet App
Subscriptions
Deconstruct Nutrition by Dr. Ben House